top of page
About The Author Video
Hi, my name is Curtis L. L. Herbold. I am a simple person who is kind, caring, sweet, and an all around great guy. However, my journey has been very difficult as I have autism. However, it is just a minor case. My autism is called, “Asperger’s Syndrome,” which people have been becoming more aware of this particular type of autism as of the beginning of 2017.
I have also had the opportunity to go to the 2018 Special Olympics USA games with Team Missouri as a swimmer. It was fun and extremely busy experience of a lifetime. I have made some great friends, of whom I can call Team Missouri as a whole a family. I have had plenty of people able to support me, help me, and work with me on scheduling, that has helped make this possible. Even had some of my family actually go to see me swim, all the way from Missouri. It will be an experience I will never forget.
I will also be an inventor soon, as my uncle is helping me finance my invention. I have already gotten good comments and verification that it could change the entire world by trusted engineers who would not shrew me over. (WARNING: this has been put on hold for the moment)
I have had a long road and a harsh life. I would not be here today if it weren’t for my grandmother, who took me in when I was 5 years old and raised me. Not only that, but I can get bossy, arrogant, argumentative, and quite irritated at times because of this type of autism. However, that is not all I have that has made it as difficult as it has been. I have OCD, ADHD, ADD, Learning Disability, Attachment Disorder, Anger Management, and others that I currently do not remember. Ever since I was 5, it has been an extreme challenge to keep up with everything and everyone.
However, despite all of that, that was past me. Me of today has learned not to get as irritated as much, learned not to be so OCD, Attachment not so much, Anger DEFINITELY NOT an issue anymore. But the other parts of it I have improved, others I will probably have my entire life. I also learned to adapt like the Borg, don't know that reference, watch Star Trek. It's honestly an everyday real life struggle, but I am leaning, I am adapting, and I am getting better overall. Honestly, god has been with me guiding me for over 17 years as of 2023 and everything I have has been by the grace of god. I've had some good things happen in my life, yes, but for the most part, I have had to rely on god to guide me despite the massive negativity in my life. I mean heck, as of June 2022, I moved to Columbia MO and no sooner did I move I have already made some people upset not only at my place of living but at church too. For example, as of February 2023, at church there is this girl I said I liked several months ago in a video directed at my book followers and not at her. Did I share it with her, yes, and I made her fell uncomfortable. Was it a poor choice of wording, heck yes. Could it be resolved if we talked it out, heck yes, but honestly, it's a problem on both of our parts? She specifically said don't message her again, and I completely backed away due to Horrible memories between my ex and me, and so I basically cut off ALL communication everywhere. Are the odds the same thing would happen exactly like what happened between my ex and me, odds are, no, but I wasn't going to risk it. To her and others, it probably looks like I am going out of my way to avoid her, but that couldn't be the farthest from the truth. She set the ground rules and so the ball is in her court if she wants to converse any further, so I do my best to abid by her wishes. In all honesty, she probably said that for me to talk to her in person, as the pastor and several people said I should do. However, based on a VERY EXTREMELY negative time in my life, any attempt to reach out on my side of things gives me horrible memories like they just happened literally hours ago, and so I just can't risk making things worse. Does not mean she can't come to me and talk to me, however, I can promise you that doing so would stress me the heck out and have those negative experiences replaying on repeat in my mind. Would it terrify me, yes, undoubtedly. However, she was the one who would have came to me, so as a Christian it's at least my duty to buckle down and not let those experiences not fix anything that could be fixed if anything. Honestly, I don't expect her to come talk to me and if she does, it will happen by the grace of god in god's time. At the end of the day, God can fix all in time. This is but just 1 of the struggles I currently have going on in February 2023, but I hope it at least gives you an example of what I do and why I do it. However, since I have been in Columbia since June 2022, I have more friends than I have ever had. Had 3 friends during my schooling and 1 friend after the fact, so I have never been the guy with many friends and since I have moved, there has been a lot of good that, I believe, was given by the grace of god, but with all the negative that I have had in my life, I try not to get attached in a relationship, or a group, or anything really not even friends because I feel like if I just blink wrong, it could all be gone.
Furthermore, I have my OCD limited to organizing and cleaning, nothing else. I have extremely improved my control over the symptoms of my ADD & ADHD. My learning disability is almost non-existent in some areas, and in many other areas is not so much of an issue anymore. My anger management, let me put it this way, when I was younger, I would destroy stuff when I got mad without any hesitation. Now, when I get angry, I can usually keep control of myself so that I do not break anything or even get true mad. In most cases, I now have what I like to call the 10 levels of irritation before I do get mad. My attachment disorder no longer exists. In fact, I have developed the philosophy, “If you don’t like me, screw you” attitude, which was developed because of a situation that happened in junior high and high school. As for my ADD & ADHD, I still get hyper, yes, but not so much. If it’s late with family playing games on holidays, I tend to drink soda to relieve my stress. However, this causes me to laugh so much that by midnight or later, I end up making myself sick, if you understand what I mean by that. I have come a long way since school days. If anyone thinks I haven’t, they can take it up with Andrew Eckman, who could not believe how much I had changed since he last saw me, which was literally graduation of 2007.
My particular autism, however, is a little different. With this particular autism, communication skills are a real problem. At this point, I do not believe I will ever be rid of this issue and will have it with me until the day I die, and I hope I don’t die until old age. However, if I were to go earlier than old age, I would like to die in a fiery car crash, so I can at least go out with a bang, LOL. As the TV show “The Big Bang Theory” states in their intro, “It all started with a big bang.” In my case, if I go out earlier than old age, here is my comment, “It all ended in a big bang,” LMBO. Just for those that don't know, LMBO is “Laugh my butt off”.
I can also cook as well as bake. I make an Oreo cake that is as rich or richer than a German Chocolate Cake. Furthermore, I call it White Chocolate Double Stuffed Coconut Oreo Cake. Besides, I also make a mean made from scratch from no recipe Chicken Bacon Cheese Quesadilla. I have a homemade potato fries recipe that is made completely from scratch off the top of my head with no prier recipe. You can ask my uncle Carl and my cousin Julia and can vouch that there was literally no recipe. All I did was look in the spice cabinet for 10 minutes, choose several random ingredients and through it together with complete 100% guess work. My uncle said they were absolutely amazing. If I had not gotten an associate's degree in computer repair, I could have been a chef.
As for the book series I am writing, I found out that I love to write. However, I am not that great at language and never was and math, you can forget it, LMBO. I am not doing it for the fame. I am doing it for me, so I can say, “Yes, I did this.” I despise rich and famous people who become snobby pricks and care only about their money and hair and not the common person. They do not stay true to themselves because they let their money change them. That is why I am going to stay true to my values if I do become rich and famous, no matter what. I remind myself every day that I made this for myself. I look at it this way:
“When I started writing, I was not the best person with language skills, the fancy car, the money, or anything else of value. I never even dreamed of being a “Best Selling” author. I am just living my life, on my own in a one-bedroom apartment, minimum wage part-time job, and paying my dues to society, but I did this without the help of family, friends, or government officials like caseworkers. The only help I had was to get my first book edited professionally by a freelance editor. To start my journey, I wrote the plot, the story, and everything about the book and its series; I wrote this whole web page, the tools, the covers, and my Facebook page for my series. Everything you see is a—well, I guess you could say it’s an image of me, since I have done it all. Even if I do not become rich and famous off the series, at least I get to say I did this, and I am proud of myself for accomplishing what I have, especially considering the challenges that I have had.”
“I will continue to write because that is what I love, and I will never give up on trying to become a professional author (as of December 8, 2017- present). Despite all the challenges that I have had and will continue to have. If in the end all I have been my books and only my books, I will at least be happy being me and staying true to myself.”
That is something I will carry with me forever because it is something that I think most people could only dream of: finding happiness without caring about money or fame. Some people want both, or one or the other. I say, who gives a crap? Rich, famous, or not, at least I will be me and stay me because I dislike being someone I am not, and in my opinion, trying to be someone you are not is a class A “delusion.” I know; I have been down that path of trying to change myself for someone to try to get them to like me as more than a friend. That was the biggest mistake I have made in my life. I regret it every day and ponder what would have happened if I hadn’t gone down that path. I still do ponder it until now here and there, but I no longer let it influence my present. Furthermore, I have also only ever had four relationships. Additionally, I just haven’t found that right one and am still waiting for her. I do not know about you, but I believe in the classic approach. I would rather be friends with someone to develop a personal connection with someone, not this just find a girlfriend crap. Furthermore, I have extremely high standards for me to even consider it. All of which start with being friends first, seeing if god will grant me, and the girl I may be interested in dating at the time, his blessing to do so as things happen in god's time not my time. The sad part is, it will probably never happen, but the hop is still there, however faint at this point, and frankly, I am fine with that, for now at least. Until I do meet her, I will continue improving myself and keep trying to be the best ME I can possibly be because that is all I really can do.
As for a girlfriend, for those that want to know. As of February 18, 2018, I am single and very much against dating unless god deems otherwise. I am, not looking or going out of my way to find one. If a girlfriend happens, it happens by the grace of god and no less. After my lest ex breaking my heart having spent 2 weeks making a handmade photo slideshow video for Valentine's Day because you had no money to buy her chocolates and/or roses, and she breaks your heart 4 days after the holiday, you are really not that interested in dating. And if that wasn't icing on the cake, she took me to court over things that literally go against my character and the very core of who I am that family and friends know is not me. In countless ways, I hate her, I am not going to lie, and I know that's not very Christian like, but in many ways, similar to this incident at church with this girl, it's at least kept me out of a problem that could go massively wrong. Is the probability of that high enough to happen again the same way as what happened between my ex and me, no, not in the slightest. Was it a knee-jerk reaction with the girl from church to cut out all contact, absolutely, but at least there isn't continuous problems and accusations flying about just an issue lingering in limbo that quite frankly drives me nuts because I can't fix it since it is technically her move by the grace of god. Whether we become friends afterward is up to god, I will just be happy that I will have another chip off my shoulders that's solved.
In recent news, as of February 20, 2023, I am officially taking myself back to school. There is an excellent deal on 13 books on Humble Bundle involving Unreal Engine 5. Yes, you guess it, I will be teaching myself how to make PC games. I have this game that I want to make, it's a MASSIVE undertaking and I know where to start, but even though I have self-taught myself a bit of Unreal Engine, I need better skills to make it happen. In short, it is a Massive Multi player game to bring in all aspects of life to a game. For example, if you want to make a declaration of Independence and mange a governing body like in real life, then you can literally be the president after progressing through the ages from starting out as a caveman/woman. It's a game that is meant to tell the life of planet earth while bringing almost all the game genres into one game. At its base it would be a simulation but with things like Sim City mechanics, Farming Simulator mechanics, Flight Simulator mechanics, The Sims, and even a fully fledged space system like EVE and Space Engineers with research mechanics from Kerbal space program and the ability to actually design your ship and/or base exactly the way you want it, right down to the way the corridors are laid. If you can imagine it, you can build it, and MANY MANY other examples as it is FAR too MANY to count and say. It's a place where you can be whoever you want to be and essentially a world where you can play with friends, or by yourself with a full-fledged AI system. Even considering making it in such a way, you can earn REAL money from playing the game just like a couple of games out there that already have this feature, like Entropia Universe and several others. If my plan works on how I want to make it, it will change the entire gaming industry as we know it because it would be a game with SO MUCH in it and could do whatever you wanted to do that a new classification would have to be invented JUST to be able to accommodate this massive project.
The name of this game is literally called, “Project: Life of Dreams” with the motto,“If you can dream it, do it, as dreams do come true. Dreams happen if you make them happen. Dreams are what you make of them.” Game Name: Copyright 2023 – Present
bottom of page